reflection

We have so many opportunities for reflection in our lives; birthdays, thanksgiving, new years, anniversaries etc. One of the most humbling and gratitfying experiences I ever had was the occasion of my oldest son's birth. While John and Pete felt the need to remind me that it was 38 years ago today, making me seem really old, it has never in all those years amazed me less or more than today when I told his daughters about the events surrounding his birth. Aside from the engine failures, cruisers and missed electronic devices for opening doors to the Emergency ward, the day will always be the beginning of my growing up. I know, I know, I didn't always do things in the socially accepted order and possibly all of my kids may have appreciated it if I had grown up before giving birth. However, there is no more pressing incentive to accept responsibility for your own actions, reflect and evaluate them, than having someone watching you, maybe learning something. In spite of my inept parenting and immaturity, he is today someone who I love deeply and respect immensely. He is kind, loving, creative, hard-working, has choosen a perfect partner (who I love also,) fathered 2 charming, thoughtful and inquisitive daughters and is my staunchest ally in times of stress. He continues to gift me with time for real conversation, acceptance of my flaws and sharing his family. Today I took the girls to the pool for an hour, made them walk out in the cold with me, did some sewing and reflected on where I would be if it were not for my children. I'm pretty sure I would still have no real purpose in life, as my kids and grandkids are my reason for living the way I do, always striving to be a better person, care for myself better and live in gratitude. I am forever grateful for the honour! Love you, mom "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." Thomas Merton