Maybe tomorrow

I'll have something interesting to say. Today I played with the kids, provided an almost constant supply of food, and then rested and watched movies after they went home. I love having them over, and I love it best when it's one at a time. Otherwise it's too much like parenting!!

Thanks for wonderful kids, add ons and grandkids, to infinity and beyond!

Love, elly

Long day

All is well!

Too fuckin' hot!i

I've done pretty well the last little while as the weather has gotten hot, pacing myself and keeping out of the sun as much as possible. I don't even think that today was the hottest day we've had, but it really got to me. I went for a bike ride as soon as I got home from the pool to avoid the worst of it. I'm not sure if I didn't have enough food for the extra activity or if it was strictly the heat, but after 11 o'clock I had a horrible headache, was nauseated, but at the same time was just ravenous for protein. I couldn't stuff it in my face fast enough and that lasted till after supper, when I felt pretty good again. I did a little yard work and some sewing and I feel fine. I only went 100 calories over my guidelines, so I'm OK with that, but I think I'll need to watch it a little more closely when it's hot as stink, just to make sure I eat before I get to that point. I had to read and nap all afternoon!!

Thanks for small miracles. Thanks for sewing machines. Thanks for being able to rest when needed. Thanks for air conditioning!

Love, elly

Hmmm

Internet is down, posting from my phone, which is a new experience. It will be short!
I bought 10 inch galvanized  spikes to replace the cheap plastic ones that gave me grief with my garden project... problem solved.
I lost Lucy's favourite ball 2 days ago, but returned for a more thorough search today... success!
I bought a new bike! I rode in the stinking heat and loved it!
Thanks for the encouragement; I don't think much about it and don't do it for the response, but it means so much to me to get some positive feedback.  Thanks for loving family.  Thanks for the garden and books, although they won't download either!
Love elly

Tough day

I wont bore you with the details, but I had some anxiety today, and I felt pretty useless. However, I didn't even consider turning to food, but did use a few other strategies to help. It didn't help that it was hot as stink, and I just can't handle even walking the dogs in that kind of heat.

I ended the day beautifully, with an evening of dinner, games and activities, planned and prepared by Anne and the girls, which totally compensated for the rest of the day.

I weighed in at the Y at 205 lbs, with 5 more to goal.

Thanks for entertainment a la Em and Grace. Thanks for sisters. Thanks for air conditioning.

Love, elly

Weird...

Sometimes it's easier to blog when I'm struggling. I know it's just as important, but there's just not the same drive to get stuff off my chest.

Yesterday I started a project that's been on hold for a month or so, just because. It didn't go well, even though I took the advice given for easy installation. I might just toss the fuckers and put in some plants without edging.

Today I spent a few hours in the back garden getting good and sweaty. It was awesome!

I sorted and organized my inside tools today and it feels good to know where they are. I might forget again next week, but right now, I'm good. I might also be avoiding the last bit of paperwork.

Thanks for easy days where work and pleasure are relatively equal. Thanks for returning Tim's crew safely from their holiday. Thanks for applesauce smeared supper.

Love, elly

Choices

I'm still getting out on the bike, but I also test-drove an upright bike today. I will wait several weeks before I make a decision, but I want options if the learning and fitness curve is such that it will interfere in the pleasure of riding. Time will tell.

I had lunch with old friends today, and one of them is retiring and moving away. I will miss her honest straight forward friendship and her no bullshit way of dealing with the board (we are long time union buddies!). I made a really great choice for lunch that was also easy to track.

It never rains, but it pours! I also had supper out tonight with a woman whose son I used to work with. She is a remarkable woman and parent, who has inspired me almost as much as her son. However, history dictates that we always go to the same Chinese food place for buffet. We have tried several other places over the years, but she really likes this place and I don't care enough to force her to go elsewhere. However, much harder to measure calories. I had lots of veggies, some steamed shrimp and small amounts of chicken and pork. I'm happy with my choices and my closest estimates put me about 50 calories over. I always try to overestimate, so I'm good with that.

Thanks for good friends. Thanks for good food and occasional treats. Thanks for a wonderful week with Em. Thanks for choices.

Love, elly

Thanks

Thanks for the Ted talk that describes depression as the result of civilization and recommends exercise as medicine. Thanks for free sod, left over from a neighbour, which patched all my naked spots in the back yard. Thanks for getting up the hill on the recumbent, using a higher gear. Thanks for restored normalcy in the bike gears! Thanks for losing the family challenge to Emily. Thanks for successful sewing projects. Thanks for barbecued double cheese burgers. Thanks for good books. Thanks for great conversation.

It's been a thankful day!

Love, elly

Catch up

I realized that I didn't talk about my unreasonable expectations, after it was the title of my post. Eating 1200 calories is not going to give me the rate of weight loss that my 900 calorie program did. Having realized that it was unreasonable, I'm now much better with my rate of loss, and it's much more important to me to be able to maintain the lifestyle changes than to have rapid loss. All is well.

I don't think the bike has been serviced for several years, as it hasn't been used. I noticed a little rust on the chain when I first picked it up, so I got some chain lube to apply, but did nothing else. I have indeed noticed some shifting incompleteness, but rather than start with adjustments, I decreased the chain and sprockets, washed it, rinsed and let it dry. It already seemed easier to move and I will reapply the lube before taking it out tomorrow. If there's still a problem, I will probably take it in for a service and ask them to adjust it.

I didn't get out on it today, as Em and I were quite busy. I found an unspent gift card for chapters, so we bought some new games. We sorted all the games and toys and cleaned up a bit, had manicures. Then we went out for supper, because her parents were to bring supper tonight, but they decided to have a date night instead.

She's still doing 3 hours every day at her sewing camp and this pillowcase and lunch bag are her projects completed so far.

This sweatshirt is the tie dye project we finished today, that she's really happy with!

I just love this special time with her and it is such a blessing. Even though I had a few of her fries and part of a piece of bread, I was within my limits...quality!

I'm grateful! Love, elly

Too tired!

I had so much I was going to share, but I'm just too tired from swimming, sewing, playing and rescuing kites from trees; all of which I'm grateful for. What I'm most grateful for though, is this precious bundle of perfection.

Love, elly

Unrealistic expectations

...and I think I broke the bike! I'm still trying, but it's making a noise that concerns me. After all, it's not my bike! I also get covered with grease every time I get on the thing. I realize that part of it is that my legs are flabby and big, so they hang over where the chain runs. From just above my ankle almost to my groin is grease. This is the part that seems to be jumping around a bit, making a clicking noise.

If any of the bike aficionados out there can give me any suggestions, I would appreciate your thoughts. I still enjoyed the practice, except that I'm worried about doing more damage.

Photos courtesy of Em!

I weighed in this morning at the Y at 207.5 lbs.

I'm grateful tonight, as usual, but too tired to say more.

Love, elly

Muggy

 I don't do very well in this kind of humidity, so I took Daniel to the pool this morning.

After a short visit with Teresa I had a bite of lunch and got out on the bike. Getting started feels slightly easier and I even managed a very minimal grade. However, it's not nearly secure or comfortable enough to be on the road. I just waver all over the place. Once I get moving, I'm feeling pretty good and only got my feet into the front wheel a few times. I tried going up a short steep hill in the neighbourhood and couldn't get up it, even in the lowest gear. I got halfway a few times, but the bike itself is quite heavy and once my fat ass is on it, even more so. Again, I'm feeling the impact of not being able to stand...

I made a few adjustments, removed an extra cushion under the front of the seat, removed a rusted paper clip from the front stem, adjusted the brakes and moved one of the handgrips and shifter, so it wasn't hanging off the end of the handlebar. I thought I might have to call the family bike expert, but I managed it on my own.

The sweat was pouring off me by that time, I so chilled in the basement till after supper when it cooled down enough to get the dogs out for a walk.

Thanks for Emily's visit starting tomorrow. Thanks for a visit with my friend and sister. Thanks for tenants who put the garbage out for me.

Love, elly

They say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks

My question is, can you teach an old broad to ride a new bike? The jury is still out, but after an initial boost from Tim and the boys, I got out on it for about an hour. It was a bit rocky at times with several near crashes and getting on is one of the hardest parts. You can't push off, you can't stand up for a few minutes while you get going, you need to get a foot on the pedal, push it hard enough to get your balance and not wobble the steering wheel so much that you lose your balance again while you get the other foot up. The steering is different because your centre of gravity is different due to the smaller tire, and the fact that it is behind your pedals. Even stopping is so different from an upright bike, its quite amazing. I tried starting on the slightest grade, and that's just not happening yet...patience will be the key! Most importantly, it's extremely comfortable.

Thanks for the opportunity to try this out. Thanks for delicious healthy food. Thanks for "the second best exotic marigold hotel". It was a great day.

Love, elly

Quiet day

I actually got quite a bit accomplished! It was nice to be back in the pool after the frigid temperatures in the lake. Then I went directly to get my etest done and bought my sticker, early I might add! I picked up a few veggies, visited and had a great lunch with my friend, Lee, and picked up her recumbent bike to try. She gave me a few pointers for starting out, as I guess it's a whole different ball game. I may take it to the same spot it took Daniel for the first few times! It was a laidback afternoon, followed by an impromptu visit and supper from Kelly and the boys.

All is well. Thanks for good true friends. Thanks for family that are friends. Thanks for insight into uncomfortable feelings and emotions.

Love, elly

Goals

I weighed in at the Y on Monday at 208 lbs, goal reached. New goal is 200 lbs.

Tracking my food continues to be a huge help with maintaining my motivation and being able to make good choices. My goal to stick with the program while I was away at the cottage was quite well completed. I had ice cream one day, but still stayed within bounds. My favourite snack was roasted, salted pumpkin seeds...yummy! Knowing how much I had left at every point in the day allowed me to get through the toughest times, when there were lots of people and food around.

I had such fun with Adrian, and I can't even describe how fulfilling and rewarding it is to have time together, to talk and play. He is so inquisitive, a great face painter, super snuggler and a real trooper. We walked to the trading post after supper every day for his ice cream, and he is officially an Uno pro now. We also told wonderful bedtime stories together, and enjoyed our trip to cottage fever, where we purchased his new "who am I?" game. I miss him already!

Thanks for family.

Love, elly

I made a serious error in judgment!

Now I think I'm really 80 % done the nasty job. I spent approximately four and a half hours working on paperwork, including a 15 min gap when I couldn't find my 2014 tax return and I was afraid I had shredded it. Not only did I still have a lot of it to do, but the parts that are left are difficult ones...figuring out which receipts I used for last year's tax return, deciding which I can still claim on this year's, and submitting receipts to sunlife for benefits I haven't claimed yet, before it's too late, which is what I usually do.

I shredded all the previous ones that are too late to claim, to help let go of the angst I have about not taking care of it in a timely way. I also tried to reward myself for getting through as much as I did with a phone call to my dear friend Sheri, but she wasn't available. Boo boo!

I realize that this is a bit chaotic, and that's how I feel. So the rest of the evening and tomorrow morning will be focused on prep for a few days at the cottage. My goal is to stick to the food plan and track, allowing some things I wouldn't normally have, but staying within my calorie range and ensuring lots of protein. I carefully selected some snacks that will work and that I like, so I won't be tempted by the other stuff available. I'm also really looking forward to some time with my favourite Adrian in the whole world!

Thanks for being 80 % completed my filing chore. Thanks for not shredding my tax return. Thanks for swim time with kids. Thanks for dog sitters. Thanks for cottage time with some of my besties.

See you when I return. Love, elly

Argh!

I just hate paperwork! Recently I purged the filing cabinet and reorganized it to better sort and store records for the rental unit. There always seems to be so much emotional energy connected to it, and I think it's partly the archaic stuff. Sorting through older wills and mortgages, loans and marriage certificates is just so draining. So much regret for so many mistakes.

So it's not surprising that I used Daniel's visit this week to postpone actually sorting out the papers to go back into the cabinet. While I sorted and shredded a whole large bag when I was removing stuff, there were many piles still sitting, waiting for me to be ready.

I planned to get at it earlier today, but ended up relaxing and reading most of the afternoon. I did eventually get it started and it's probably 80% done. I have learned from past experience if I go longer than I feel able, it's no longer productive, so I will attempt to finish tomorrow.

I enjoyed catching up with the 3 amigos, minus 1 who was at a party, after their camping trip. Reminds me of our camping adventures when mine were little!

Thanks for kids who are good parents. Thanks for small doses of difficult chores. Thanks for plenty. Thanks for the beautiful pottery bowl I found for Jen today at a garage sale.

Love, elly

Wish I had taken a pic

One reluctant 6 year old boy is riding his 2 wheeler proudly!

Thanks for the steady food consumption. Thanks for riding tips. Thanks for perseverance. Thanks for the Y. Many, many thanks.

Love, elly

That's good

I actually forgot to blog yesterday, because it was such a busy fun day, and that's good. It included swimming with D, coasting on his 2 wheeler, tie dying, a ride with mikeMike, double swim and supper at Cory's, and a trip to Terry and Karen's to see new born snakes, tortoises, lizards, chinchillas etc, etc. Awesomeness!

I was right back on track with my eating and that's good.

I had another wonderful day with him today, which included a short meeting at the board office, playing in the river, train and carousel rides; sword in hand, ice cream (for D of course!) more coasting and several errands including blood work and xrays which he tolerated because he had my tablet the whole time... and that's good.

I just love having the time one on one, with no competition for attention, to be with him. He is so creative, funny, smart and determined. I just love him to pieces, and that's good!

Thanks for Roo, who supports so many people, because she can. Thanks for our health care system. Thanks for the few people at the board office who just ”get it". It's all good.

Love, elly

Oops

I stumbled today, starting with some breaded chicken strips that I bought for the boys lunch, only to discover that they were too spicy for them, and then continuing after supper. I eventually got myself stopped when I realized that I wasn't even enjoying what I was eating.

The rain prevented us doing a whole lot outside today, but we did get to the park before it started and to several bike shops to research recumbent bikes. It doesn't sound like anyone local carries them, or even knows where to order them. I remembered that my friend bought one a number of years ago, so I asked her where she got it. She has offered to let me borrow it and sell it to me if I like it! I'm excited, but admit that I'm nervous about the lack of visibility.

I forgot to mention that I weighed in Monday at 210.5 lbs, .5 more to my goal.

Thanks for boys on plasma cars. Thanks for rocks. Thanks for leaks in laundry rooms that are not fecal related. Thanks for surprise visits from Betty and Cori. Thanks for Pete's voice on the phone with riding lessons.

Love, elly

Happy day

With a happy kid. My favourite parts were the discussion about "dog tracking" and the water fight, which we agreed I lost...clearly!

I'm thinking of Pete and Roo as they adjust to their new reality. It's been a bit to hot to handle...Dream on brother!

I guess Daniel and I will do some recumbent bike shopping...

Love, elly

Tough day

I'm suddenly remembering that before every day felt like a tough day, that Sundays often felt that way. I think it's a huge improvement to have gone back to that after the last 6 or 7 months. Regardless, I survived.

I rode my bike a little; came back and raised the handlebars as far as they would go and went out again. It was definitely easier on my neck, but even with my gloves on, my wrists really bothered me. I got the usual numbness in my hands too, but what sent me back home was the pain in my left elbow. I'm hoping that a little more practice will ease it somehow.

I did some work in the yard and walked the dogs, but generally felt like I didn't accomplish any "value added". Maybe tomorrow.

Thanks for my bike. Thanks for a short impromptu visit from Paula and Mary; it was the highlight of my day. Thanks for hope.

Love, elly

Not enough sleep

I'm tired and had to apologize to the boys a few times this morning for being a little cranky. The fact that they almost all tried on some "attitude" doesn't change the fact that I feel bad about it. The adults are supposed to be above that, right? I specifically remember saying "I don't care" several times when they were moaning and/or complaining about each other. I'm pretty sure they still really enjoyed each other too, so all is well.

I painted the door that Pete customized and installed for me last year. I ate well. Good night!

Love, elly

Crazy

Crazy kids, that is! Four boys sleeping...wait a minute; there's no sleeping happening yet, and there might not ever be! I'm pretty sure they're having fun though, so what the heck.

It was a busy day and I didn't get my bike out. However, I did get started on a big job that I've been avoiding; getting my paperwork and filing in order. It's not finished yet but I got some advice from Jen and I made good progress. I admit it induces great anxiety and I avoid it until it's a huge mess. I also got a much needed haircut; not quite as short as Pete's, but close.

I can't even describe how wonderful it is to be eating clean. I need to establish more routine and strategies before fall, so I can maintain.

Thanks for children. Thanks for parents who take them back home again.

Love, elly

BTW pete, I agree about the power tools and I would be happy to just watch or assist, but alas, I have no minions at my beck and call so I get help whenever I can and give the rest my best shot!

Blessings

I resent that my back is sore and tired, mostly because I haven't been doing my stretches.

I appreciate the adventures the day brought.

I picked Mary (and her sink) up to go to Lisa's to replace a sink, but the sink we brought had to be replaced. I finally found another one the same and left her to it.

I scavenged a piece of Lisa's peony while I was there. She had to break into Sara's house to get a shovel to use.

I went to the auto wrecker to get a replacement latch for my glove box. I found 2 vans that had been raped and pillaged and was giving up after an hour of searching. On my way out I stumbled across another one, right in the middle of a mini lake. Because of where it was I thought it might still have parts inside and I was right. I finally managed to get inside without getting my feet wet, and after 20 min, still hadn't figured out how to get it out. I knew it came out because Jason took the broken one out of mine. Eventually, I broke enough pieces that I managed to get the whole door of the glove box off; $10 later, I was on my way.

Other than a brief stop at Wal-Mart, I was in the garden all afternoon. I rescued a peony from Jen, as she was trying to kill it. (lol)

Danny barbecued spare ribs on the new bbq and invited me to join them...mmmm!! Yummy!!!

Thanks for many satisfying adventures. Thanks to Jason for replacing my latch in 2 min flat. Thanks to Jen and Lisa for peonies. Thanks to Kelly and Danny for the nice supper. Thanks to Jason for the chain saw assistance. Thanks for the uncomfortable reminder to do my stretches. Thanks for gardens to dig in.

Love, elly

I wanted more

I don't know why some days I'm so tired after supper. As I write that I realize that I didn't have a nap at any point today, so that could be it. Regardless, ever since supper I've wanted something more to eat. I just caught up my tracking for the day and I was already over by 91 calories. Surprisingly, that information was enough to grab a Perrier instead. Also, considering how tired I feel, I'm going to bed early too.

I did a bit more cleaning, took Daniel over to Tim and Jen's to see the big Canadian flag, vacuumed and washed the van, pumped up the boys bike tires, tried to help Daniel learn to ride without his training wheels, helped Kelly put together the new barbeque, took Kelly and the boys out for lunch, had a water fight, swung on the swings, watched a movie and read stories... Shit, I'm getting more tired just telling you what I did.

Thanks for all of the above.

Love, elly