I don't have hot water yet, but I'm pretty sure I know what the problem is. I got a new heater at the end of the year and the water really only gets warm. I have an anti scald device and hopefully once I get that adjusted I'll have "scalding" hot water.
I decided to go out and buy metamucil today after I shit myself yesterday while coming home from walking the dogs. I think it's a clear reflection of how resistant I've been about it that I came home without it. I plum forgot! I'm going back tomorrow.
I made a fresh batch of almond butter today and finished my second batch of dried apple slices. Jen likes them so I made some for her too. Now if I can only get them to her before I eat them all!
I had people come to see the apartment today. One guy was sipping at a vodka cooler while they went through... I'm sure the right people are out there!
It was rainy today, but the sunshine yesterday still has me feelin' fine!
Love, elly
Monday, March 28, 2016
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
Stories
There's been so much on the news about the Jian Ghomeshi sexual assault case and I, among others, knew how it was going to go before the decision came down. What I appreciate most about the whole thing is that people are talking about it. People are talking about how they feel about these women and why they did what they did. Some people understand exactly and others have nothing to relate to and don't get it.
Don't get me wrong, I believe that the law was enforced. I believe that the judge had no choice but to decide what he did, according to our current laws. However, I also believe that changes need to be made that ensure that protection and support are provided to victims who come forward and greater effort must be made to understand and explain the reasons for their behaviour.
A friend of mine was called about doing a documentary of survivor's stories, to help educate and continue these discussions in a productive way to enable change to happen in the system. She posted it, I contacted the woman and a taping has been scheduled in early April. I sent a message to Lucy Decoutere earlier this week, thanking her for her courage, in spite of the outcome of the trial. I decided that if she could pay the price she paid, I can do my bit by adding my story. I'm nervous and excited.
I spent the day sewing fleece camouflage pants for all the kids for Easter. Two left to do in the morning. My head and neck still hurt so I'm going to bed soon.
Love, elly
Smash!
I don't know if my spatial awareness is changing or I'm just getting clumsier, but I've been hitting my head so much lately and it hurts! Today, getting in the van, which is no different than when I bought it, I smashed my head so hard that I have a big goose egg and hurt my neck. It actually broke my hair off where I smashed it! Fuck!! That inspired me to eat ice cream until my teeth hurt...
Otherwise I had a wonderful snow day spent with Sam and Daniel.
Love, elly
Otherwise I had a wonderful snow day spent with Sam and Daniel.
Love, elly
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Gifts
Today I helped a young man learn the basics of the sewing machine. We didn't make anything, but he took the pieces he sewed together home to show his mom, who has a hard time finding things to be proud of in him. He was proud of himself so it will matter much less if she isn't.
I've worked with a new supply teacher over the last few months who is working so hard to be a good teacher. He's been in my classes often in the last few weeks and he's had days when he was frustrated because some of the boys just wouldn't engage with him. He has repeatedly asked me for advice, and never condescended to me because I'm female, older, or an EA. The last 2 days he made several breakthroughs and it was such a pleasure to be able to tell him how wonderful he was doing. Very few supply teachers have any clue about how to get through to our population and sit at their desk or don't talk to the kids at all. He's a true gift to anyone that he teaches and I hope we get to keep him...it's not likely but I want it anyway!
I had an appointment after work today with my massage therapist. She's been using a relatively new technique with me for a while now, which is much easier on me than regular massage. It's called matrix repaterning and essentially shifts inflammation. Today when she started my eyes started to water, my mouth was watering, my sinuses completely filled up and I started to cough. She found several spots on my head where I smashed it on something and fixed both sides of my neck. By the time I got back home I was exhausted but felt great! I know that I'll continue to have some of these issues because of the connective tissue disorder, so she's not a cure, but I'm so grateful that she is getting so good at this and that I'm able to let it help me.
I have more prospective tenants coming tomorrow. I think it might be the right ones!
Roo, I have used metamucil for many years. Since I've had my gall bladder out I haven't needed to and I'm just resisting going back to it. I know it's the logical solution but I'd still rather use natural fibre if I can find something that works. I'll keep exploring for a little longer.
I'm truly blessed, elly
I've worked with a new supply teacher over the last few months who is working so hard to be a good teacher. He's been in my classes often in the last few weeks and he's had days when he was frustrated because some of the boys just wouldn't engage with him. He has repeatedly asked me for advice, and never condescended to me because I'm female, older, or an EA. The last 2 days he made several breakthroughs and it was such a pleasure to be able to tell him how wonderful he was doing. Very few supply teachers have any clue about how to get through to our population and sit at their desk or don't talk to the kids at all. He's a true gift to anyone that he teaches and I hope we get to keep him...it's not likely but I want it anyway!
I had an appointment after work today with my massage therapist. She's been using a relatively new technique with me for a while now, which is much easier on me than regular massage. It's called matrix repaterning and essentially shifts inflammation. Today when she started my eyes started to water, my mouth was watering, my sinuses completely filled up and I started to cough. She found several spots on my head where I smashed it on something and fixed both sides of my neck. By the time I got back home I was exhausted but felt great! I know that I'll continue to have some of these issues because of the connective tissue disorder, so she's not a cure, but I'm so grateful that she is getting so good at this and that I'm able to let it help me.
I have more prospective tenants coming tomorrow. I think it might be the right ones!
Roo, I have used metamucil for many years. Since I've had my gall bladder out I haven't needed to and I'm just resisting going back to it. I know it's the logical solution but I'd still rather use natural fibre if I can find something that works. I'll keep exploring for a little longer.
I'm truly blessed, elly
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Yin, yang
The smoothie mix that I discovered at Costco that effectively addressed my constipation issues is no longer available.
I bought a kale and arugala mix to try instead.
When blended into the smoothie, it was so bitter I could hardly choke it down.
I added it on top of my burger tonight and it was delicious.
I didn't consume nearly as much as I would have in my smoothie so it probably won't help me poop, but it reminded me that if I can keep an open mind I will always find something good can come out of something that initially seems shitty (pun intended!).
Love, elly
I bought a kale and arugala mix to try instead.
When blended into the smoothie, it was so bitter I could hardly choke it down.
I added it on top of my burger tonight and it was delicious.
I didn't consume nearly as much as I would have in my smoothie so it probably won't help me poop, but it reminded me that if I can keep an open mind I will always find something good can come out of something that initially seems shitty (pun intended!).
Love, elly
Monday, March 21, 2016
Spring!
I weighed in at the Y this morning at 207.5 lbs, down 2.5, which proves to me that spending time with grandkids is very good for me, even if I'm eating grilled cheese and an occasional hot dog.
I got 2 nice surprises today; an unexpected visit with Mary and a surprise gift from Pete. It's not even my birthday!
Even though the wind was cold today, when I went out for my lunch time walk, I just soaked up the sun. It sounds like a lot of rain and snow still this week, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get the bike out soon, which is exciting!
That's it for today as I keep plodding along.
Love, elly
PS, Pete it's exactly as you say. The return of the bra is mostly for the comfort of others. However, I do have gym class this semester and these long empty sacs flinging about in all directions is not safe for anyone and certainly not more comfortable.
I got 2 nice surprises today; an unexpected visit with Mary and a surprise gift from Pete. It's not even my birthday!
Even though the wind was cold today, when I went out for my lunch time walk, I just soaked up the sun. It sounds like a lot of rain and snow still this week, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get the bike out soon, which is exciting!
That's it for today as I keep plodding along.
Love, elly
PS, Pete it's exactly as you say. The return of the bra is mostly for the comfort of others. However, I do have gym class this semester and these long empty sacs flinging about in all directions is not safe for anyone and certainly not more comfortable.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
I forgot!
I appreciate that I haven't worn a bra all week!
I haven't paid much attention to what I've been eating either. I'm not worried about it and know I'll get back to it when I can.
It was a wonderful day swimming and playing with kids and dogs and a big bonfire. Back to work tomorrow.
Love, elly
I haven't paid much attention to what I've been eating either. I'm not worried about it and know I'll get back to it when I can.
It was a wonderful day swimming and playing with kids and dogs and a big bonfire. Back to work tomorrow.
Love, elly
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Resentments and appreciations
I'll mention resentments first, in an attempt to let them go.
I resent the neck pain that persisted through the week;
I resent the slower metabolism that comes with age;
I resent the fear that I don't have enough money;
I resent grouchiness that results from lack of sleep;
I resent that I pulled my bathing suit out of my gym bag before taking Kelly's boys to swim lessons which were cancelled due to March break, meaning they couldn't swim;
I appreciate that I spent every day this week with grandkids;
I appreciate that they enjoyed that almost as much as I did;
I appreciate that whatever aches and pains I might have are nothing compared to what my daughter goes through every day;
I appreciate not having aids or cancer;
I appreciate the new shelf I have in the kitchen, which leaves my counter space available;
I appreciate reading;
I appreciate family at every level;
I appreciate enough food, clothing, shelter and money;
I appreciate sewing dresses for Em and Grace this week and plannng sewing projects for the others;
I appreciate that a few episodes of Octonauts can distract a child from a badly skinned finger which got dragged under a shopping cart wheel... (I resent how badly the skin literally got peeled off)
I appreciate the break from the politics of work this week has been;
I appreciate that I love my work with students and look forward to returning to it;
I appreciate that even though I was either too tired or busy snuggling to blog this week, that it's still something I want to do.
I appreciate that there is no doubt in my mind that the stuff in my life is so insignificant, and the people in my life so critically vital. I'm blessed.
Love, elly
I resent the neck pain that persisted through the week;
I resent the slower metabolism that comes with age;
I resent the fear that I don't have enough money;
I resent grouchiness that results from lack of sleep;
I resent that I pulled my bathing suit out of my gym bag before taking Kelly's boys to swim lessons which were cancelled due to March break, meaning they couldn't swim;
I appreciate that I spent every day this week with grandkids;
I appreciate that they enjoyed that almost as much as I did;
I appreciate that whatever aches and pains I might have are nothing compared to what my daughter goes through every day;
I appreciate not having aids or cancer;
I appreciate the new shelf I have in the kitchen, which leaves my counter space available;
I appreciate reading;
I appreciate family at every level;
I appreciate enough food, clothing, shelter and money;
I appreciate sewing dresses for Em and Grace this week and plannng sewing projects for the others;
I appreciate that a few episodes of Octonauts can distract a child from a badly skinned finger which got dragged under a shopping cart wheel... (I resent how badly the skin literally got peeled off)
I appreciate the break from the politics of work this week has been;
I appreciate that I love my work with students and look forward to returning to it;
I appreciate that even though I was either too tired or busy snuggling to blog this week, that it's still something I want to do.
I appreciate that there is no doubt in my mind that the stuff in my life is so insignificant, and the people in my life so critically vital. I'm blessed.
Love, elly
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Ouch!
Well, I woke up in such pain this morning that I could hardly move. A nerve that's been getting pinched in my neck for several months finally caused a terrible spasm. I laid around most of the day feeling a bit sorry for myself, taking drugs, and heating up the bean bags.
I intended to tidy up the place, and get some stuff ready for the kids visits this week. Oh well, I'm pretty sure they won't care! So, I'm going to bed later with more drugs and I'm going to feel great in the morning! Yeah!!
Love, elly
I intended to tidy up the place, and get some stuff ready for the kids visits this week. Oh well, I'm pretty sure they won't care! So, I'm going to bed later with more drugs and I'm going to feel great in the morning! Yeah!!
Love, elly
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Thanks!
It was a wonderous day filled with kids and market, sewing and cooking and generally taking better care of myself. The biggest factor is being off work for a whole week. I love my actual work with the students and I'm beginning to loathe everything else about it.
So, it will be a week of recovery, grandkids, hopefully a little biking, more sewing with the girls, walking, cooking, and dehydrating. Yeah for March break!
Love, elly
So, it will be a week of recovery, grandkids, hopefully a little biking, more sewing with the girls, walking, cooking, and dehydrating. Yeah for March break!
Love, elly
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
No shame
It was a day for the books, including;
Driving to get gas without my wallet, which was still in my winter coat;
Nearly shitting my pants (again) while driving home to get said wallet;
By the time I went back for gas and got to the pool I had 10 minutes to enjoy the pool;
I got to work and realized my work keys were also at home;
The kids were insane...literally!
I borrowed a supply teacher key from the secretary, who gets pretty pissed if we lose them;
At the end of phys ed class, I couldn't find the key. The supply teacher told me he'd seen it around my neck. Several people had used it during the class and I looked everywhere, but couldn't find it. As we returned to class, he pulled 2 sets of keys from his pocket... I live to work another day, the key has been handed back to Pat!
My biggest accomplishment today: no shame! I ate ice cream for supper. Tomorrow's goal: no shame and eating better.
Love, elly
Driving to get gas without my wallet, which was still in my winter coat;
Nearly shitting my pants (again) while driving home to get said wallet;
By the time I went back for gas and got to the pool I had 10 minutes to enjoy the pool;
I got to work and realized my work keys were also at home;
The kids were insane...literally!
I borrowed a supply teacher key from the secretary, who gets pretty pissed if we lose them;
At the end of phys ed class, I couldn't find the key. The supply teacher told me he'd seen it around my neck. Several people had used it during the class and I looked everywhere, but couldn't find it. As we returned to class, he pulled 2 sets of keys from his pocket... I live to work another day, the key has been handed back to Pat!
My biggest accomplishment today: no shame! I ate ice cream for supper. Tomorrow's goal: no shame and eating better.
Love, elly
Monday, March 7, 2016
On shame
Shame accomplishes nothing positive. It's destructive, malicious, and undermining. I might die a fat woman, but I'll be damned if I allow myself to die full of shame.
I wasn't going to mention that I'm up to 210 lbs. Oh well, I'm still down 84. I wasn't going to tell you how much I've been struggling to exercise. Oh well, today I went to the pool and walked twice. I wasn't going to talk about my mental health struggles. Oh well, today I asked several people for support, offered support to several others and answered honestly when someone asked how I was doing.
Do I have it all sorted out? Not by a long shot. Did I figure out (again) that if I want to manage with a low dose of antidepressant that I NEED to exercise? Yes, yes I did.
Today that will do.
Much love, elly
I wasn't going to mention that I'm up to 210 lbs. Oh well, I'm still down 84. I wasn't going to tell you how much I've been struggling to exercise. Oh well, today I went to the pool and walked twice. I wasn't going to talk about my mental health struggles. Oh well, today I asked several people for support, offered support to several others and answered honestly when someone asked how I was doing.
Do I have it all sorted out? Not by a long shot. Did I figure out (again) that if I want to manage with a low dose of antidepressant that I NEED to exercise? Yes, yes I did.
Today that will do.
Much love, elly
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