Yup, life is good

My tenants love their bbq cover and wondered if I had it professionally made! They also brought me some lovely raspberry jam, which the girls are looking forward to having for breakfast.

The selfie is a little sketchy, but we like it! Good night!

Love, elly

Stuff

I don't need to ever lose more weight, but I need to keep working diligently at eating well as much as possible. Having said that, my current goal remains to reach 200 lbs.

Lack of sleep has a profound negative impact on just about every aspect of my life; from now on, if I've slept badly for 2 nights, I'm going to take something. I slept so well and feel like a new (ok slightly used) person.

I realized when I went to bed last night that I hadn't taken my pills the night before and missing the thyroid medication has the same negative impact. I have started using a dosette and try to take them right when I go to bed, but once in a while I still miss; usually when I'm tired!

Seeing some of my siblings is always a good thing for me, even when it's because someone died. I'm not sure how many adults can say that they enjoy their siblings, but I certainly appreciate time with mine. Actually, I'm realizing more and more that I don't really like living alone. I love having time alone, but not as much as I have. I think it really hits me when I've had kids here and wake up to their happy faces, and then it's so quiet when they go home.

Exercise is the other key component for my well being, and even though I'm busy constantly when kids are here, it's often hard to get a dedicated hour to just focus on my workout routine. Playing at the park or in the pool with them is wonderful, but doesn't give me the same benefit. I admit it's one thing I'm looking forward to about returning to work; schedule!!

Another thing I've intended to mention, just because it helps me to be honest with myself is the struggle I've had, only occasionally, with simple tasks. I decided I wanted to make a cover for my tenants barbecue. I bought material, pinned it and started sewing. I knew something was wrong and I couldn't figure out what it was. Once I had the second seam in, I knew I had sewn it on the wrong side. I took it out, but still couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong overall. I put it away and left it for 2 days. When I went back to it, it was as easy as it should have been from the start and it looks great. This same kind of thing has happened several times over the last few months and it scares me a little. Not a lot, and there's nothing I can do about it anyway, but it's a worry.

So, back on track with food, sleep, pills and I'm having an all granddaughter sleepover tomorrow. Yeah!!

Good thing I decided to get started early on this, cause otherwise it may have been another "tomorrow"!

Much love, elly

Need a good sleep

So I'm gonna take drugs. It seems like I'm having at least once a week where I'm too tired from not sleeping well, or not getting enough exercise and the food plan goes in the toilet. That's not really a problem if you're maintaining your current weight, but since I definitely feel more comfortable a bit lighter, I'm gonna have to improve.

There's other stuff that I hope to be motivated to talk about tomorrow, but the priority tonight is sleep.

Love, elly

Tomorrow

I'll try to catch up!

Love, elly

More fun, more tired.

Uno, skipbo, set, life Jr, two dots, biking, swimming with Sam, more time dying, and we finally got the handlebars on her bike adjusted. Phew! Time for snuggles in bed!

Love, elly

Tired

It's such a gift to spend one on one time with the kids. I don't know how they do it every day though. I'm exhausted! We rode again today; still no luck budging the handlebars. We swam; Daniel and Betty joined us. We played a lot of Uno, skipbo, life Jr, the sneaky snacky squirrel game, and barrel of monkeys. Grace also spends time every day on the monkey bars...not me; I barbeque.

Here's the end product of yesterday's tie dye;

We're pretty happy with how they turned out. Of course, she could make a burlap sack look good!

This, however, is my favorite; nothing more precious than waking beside her, especially since she doesn't pee the bed!

We're eating well.

Love, elly

Wonder

I think I remember that wonder and awe are gifts of the spirit. Grace is an absolute wonder and I'm in awe of her. She's just so lovely, down to earth, fun loving and kind. We raised her bike seat but the handlebars are seized so we've sprayed with penetrating oil and will try again tomorrow. The shifter is a mystery to me and we might not be able to do anything about it. We'll ride anyway!

I'm grateful for this precious time with Grace.

Love, elly

Busy, busy

I weighed in at the Y this morning at 205 lbs, the same as last week and 5 more to my goal. Considering the dessert fiasco of several days ago, it could have been much worse. Today was good.

I had Daniel and Sam unexpectedly, as their parents are idiots; you will recall that this is a family trait and one we're quite proud of. It also was the start of my week with Gracie Grace, and she loved that her first day was spent with the boys. After they left we learned Uno.

My beautiful, smart, sassy girl!

Love, elly

It's a good thing I'm not dead yet!

...cause I obviously still have lots to learn. More specifically, I still have lots to relearn. This was a week of being reminded of things I'd ignored or forgotten. The dessert thing I mentioned yesterday, drinking enough has been a challenge, breaking up periods of inactivity, going to bed when I'm tired, etc.

I'm looking forward to time with my precious Grace this week. While I love seeing the kids enjoy each other, the one on one time I've had with each of them this summer has been truly rejuvenating. I just love spending time with them.

I'm taking my own advice and heading to bed.

Love, elly

Polar opposite

Family; life giving, wonderful, comfortable!
Dessert; deceptive, destructive, beyond uncomfortable!
Nuff said.

Love, elly

We'll see...

Fail! Pete, I think you're lucky that l know (sometimes) how to add the freakin' pictures! I've tried to make it bigger but unless you have a tutorial of some kind, you'll just have to enlarge it yourself.

It was an interesting day. I've been thinking about an issue at the Union office where they don't want to reimburse me for some expenses. It was hard and I cried several times as I was writing the email, but I thought it was about time I dealt with it. I really don't care any more if they pay me or not, but I decided that I was gonna tell them exactly what I thought about it. Apparently, they've been talking at length about it and they say they're gonna pay me now. I'm not holding my breath and I won't be putting myself in that position ever again. It's a real shame because I was good at the job and I want nothing more to do with them. Regardless, it felt good.

Miss P, as you see above is ready for bed, and I won't be far behind. We had lots of fun in the pool and playing afterwards. Love her to pieces!

OMG, I just figured it out!! lol

Love, elly

I like it better when the kids are here!

I did a lot of laundry today, as Sam peed the bed and soaked everything! If I could chose to have the bed dry, but it meant he didnt come, I would chose the wet bed and laundry every time!

Also, rode my bike, walked, tie dyed, read, flew kites, and had a nice supper with the Slessors.

Tomorrow Miss P comes!! All is well in my world.

Love, elly

Tough day,

...perfect ending! I have the best grandsons ever! Daniel told me to say that, but its true.

Today was mom's birthday, and Mary reminded me that she would have been 92. It seems like more than 10 years ago, even though it's not quite. I miss her and wish I could have an hour or two to thank her for what she accomplished with what she had.

I think the biggest reason I struggled today is because I didn't sleep well again. Tonight I've taken half a sleeping pill, and hope tomorrow is better.

On the bright side, I ate well, with no slips. Much as it's hard to admit when I lose it, I know it's critical to getting back on track, so thanks for listening.

Other than giving K & D a night out for their anniversary by watching the above mentioned hulligans, I sent a message to the couple I mentioned on Saturday, telling them why I admire them so much, and offered some support to a friend whose husband is dying. As far as value added, it will have to do.

Love, elly

Lost it!

It was a perfectly marvelous day, spent with Aubrey actually really wanting to stay here instead of asking to go home every few hours. It was too hot, but still wonderful. Jen then made a terrific healthy supper for us and we all went to the park for a while.

What I can't explain, and need to if I don't want to keep repeating it, is why I felt the need to pig out at 9:30. Mind you, I didn't eat any of the kids treats, no cereal or nutella, but I still ate till 10! I know sometimes when I eat at that time, I'm tired, but I don't think it was that tonight.

I know I still have a little emotional hangover from the guys Ironman, and still get choked up thinking about their successes and disappointments. I'm hoping someone will post any pics that might be around. I have so much respect and admiration for all of them! I'm not sure if this contributed or not, just that it's another reason that I sometimes lose control at this time of day; feeling overly emotional!

It's over for now, and I'm grateful for that. I'll keep trying to pay attention to why it seems like it will help any of those situations, cause it never does solve anything!

Kudos to 3 Ironmen; Pete, Brett, and John, and to their Ironfans who represented the rest of us who were cheering them on the whole way.

Love, elly

The day of Aubrey

Aubrey came to visit first thing this morning. He's usually with someone else from home if he's away from home, so this was a first. He had a sad time and wanted to go home, but after swimming, and a snack, he was good to go again. He's the most amazing kid and just plays so hard. When he laughs, he laughs with his whole body, and he loves to wrestle. We spent a lot of time racing and playing with cars and loading as many of them as possible onto the train...

...building bridges,

making silly faces, singing songs etc. The rest of the pics, unfortunately just wouldn't load, which is shitty, cause he's so darn adorable!

I weighed in with a rude awakening, as anticipated. I weigh 204.5 lbs, up 1.5 lbs, but the vacation is over. Back to business.

We're gonna snuggle now. Love, elly

Tribute to my heros

First of all, doing what it takes to even be able to enter an Ironman competition is mind boggling to me. The dedication and perseverance is amazing and I'm humbled by knowing them.

Brett Kyle; swim 3.8 km 1:26:30, bike 180 km 6:44:50, run 42.2 km 4:46:58.  He was 58th in his division and 1324 overall after the swim, 53rd in his division and 1305 overall after the bike, and 36th in his division and 1018 overall at the finish. Congratulations, Ironman Brett!

John Rooyakkers; swim 3.8 km 1:50:55, bike 180 km 7:01:38 and run 42.2 km . He was 221st in his division and 1683 overall after the swim, 187th in his division and 1505 overall after the bike and a kickass spot in his division and  the perfect spot (1480) overall at the finish. Congratulations Ironman John!

Peter Rooyakkers; swim 3.8 km 1:36:30, bike 180 km 7:26:16, reached the limit of his current reality shortly after starting the marathon. He was 38th in his division and 1587 overall after the swim and 38th in his division and 1551 overall after the bike. He knows and respects his limits and is proud of his accomplishments. Congratulations Ironman Pete!

My heart has been in my throat all day, as I followed their progress. I will likely have a rude awakening on the scale in the morning as I got into some nibblies after supper...so much excitement..combined with the fact that I had several extras earlier in the weekend. Such is life.

I think the most amazing thing about all of these Ironmen is their down to earth attitudes, their comraderie and support of each other and their appreciation for their families. Amazing men!

Love, elly

Miracle

I attended a 30th birthday bash for a young man this evening. Every day of his life is a miracle and the fact that he has lived so long is astounding. His life expectancy was probably about 15 years. He uses a cpap constantly now, to even be able to speak. Yet, his love and enthusiasm for life are easily evident. He simply does and says whatever he can every minute of every day, and makes it look easy. I think it has truly become his natural state of being...a worthy ideal that I continue to strive for!

His lovely wife, who is her own beautiful miracle, (I introduced them to each other!) does the same, even though she can only speak with an assistive communication device. They are courageous beyond words, but they don't even know it. It does my heart good to see them from time to time and be reminded of how great love is, and how simple.

Speaking of love, I sent a short note to B last week. A note I have resisted sending, as it would not be helpful and wouldn't change anything. It was carefully worded to not lay blame, but simply stated how I'm feeling. I was wrong, it did help. It hasn't changed anything, but it's helped me immensely to acknowledge the pain.

I'm excited and sending loving energy to the Ironmen; Brett, John, and Pete. Love long and finish! (Auto corrected from live long and finish, but I like this even better!)

Love, elly

First annual Crowe family camp out!

There were a few hitches, but nothing these amazing kids and in-laws of mine couldn't figure out. It was so fabulous that I completely forgot to take some pics. Highlights included all the kids except miss P being closed in the trunk of Jason's truck driving around the property, bbq, white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies (yes I had 3!), dispatching the large Chinese lanterns, setting up tents inside the pavilion, frozen t-shirt contest (yes grandma and Adrian won!), the snail barrel, and last but by no means least, battles with Karsten, Jason's work pal and good friend.

Miss P and grandma came home to let the dogs out and sleep and we'll go back out for breakfast.

I'm blessed.

Love, elly

On the bright side

Sometimes it seems that I must bore you with the mundane stuff I regurgitate at the end of the day. Sometimes it bores me!

There is a lot more positive stuff than negative so I try to keep focused on those things. My house smells much less like skunk than yesterday. Thanks to my friend for the lampe berger. I think the tenants burned part of their supper tonight and I'm grateful, cause that's all I can smell! I'm loving spending time with Sam, even though he's cranky sometimes, and even my tenants adore him. I'm missing riding this week. I had a wonderful visit with Cory and a swim after, with her granddaughters. A had a short visit with Mary and Mike this afternoon too.

My mood continues to be fairly stable, although I'm already noticing the darkness in the morning. Likewise, my eating is also quite stable right now. My sleep still sucks, but like I said, more good than bad.

Thanks for love and support.

Love, elly

Somethin' smells funky!

I mean skunky! First thing this morning when I let the dogs out to see, I knew immediately I had a problem. The smell was so intense that I could hardly make myself open the door! I got gloves on, took a can of v8 outside and doused Lucy, who very obviously got sprayed, poor girl.   Then I put her in the shower and washed her several times. Later I used a mix of peroxide, baking soda and dawn dish detergent, and washed both of them, which seems to have done the trick on them. Oh, and I gave Lucy a shave too!

The problem remains that the patio, and in turn, the house just reeks. I've cleaned everything with diluted bleach, and it helps for a half hour. I've burned incense and sprayed odour absorber. It helps for a short while. I still smell skunky and I've been in the pool twice today!!

I think she was probably on the grass when she got blasted, so not much is gonna help there. She must have been pretty close too, cause you could see exactly everywhere she got it!

I was so tired, starting my day at 6 with that and the boys didn't go home till 9 pm, after a movie. I'm just to old for skunks!! Posting early this morning because I fell asleep last night!

Love, elly

Thumbs up!

It was a wonderful day. I weighed in at the Y at 203 lbs, with 3 more to my goal. It was a wonderful day! Did I mention it was a wonderful day??!!

Love, elly

Surprise!

It rained a lot today, cancelling Sam's plans to play outside.
The patio roof has sprung a leak; actually several.
Sam beat me at minion trouble; almost skunked me.
Danny had to work late and asked me to pick up Daniel.
Kelly sent me the code to pick him up.
I didn't hear anything more from either one of them.
Daniel and Sam both beat me at Uno.
Still no word, I fed them both supper.
Still no news, we showered and got ready for bed.
We went through a whole book of rhymes and songs and settled in to bed.
Of course, then the parents both claimed that they told me that Kelly had a meeting... NOT!
Some surprises are too wonderful for words!

Love, elly

Another day older and deeper in debt!

I'm pretty sure it's Johnny Cash, and it's been looping through my head since last evening.

I was simply too tired to blog after the hilarity that ensued after supper at Mary's last evening. My fellow seacow and extra sister Karen and I share a birthday, and Terry, Denise, Andy, Lisa and Paula had joined Mary and Mike to celebrate. It was such fun, easy camaraderie, and even though, or maybe because the conversation focused largely on farting, we all laughed so hard we could hardly talk. The younger gang still look forward to all the many ways their bodies will betray them as they get older, and that's how it should be. Thanks, all!

Today the celebration moved to Valens, a conservation area where we often went with kids and cousins when we were all younger. The kids all brought things for barbecue and the grandkids played and swam and ate. It was a glorious day, the weather was perfect and I received several notes and pictures that I treasure. This card from Paula sums up the day.

...and that's as it should be!

Thanks, all! Love, elly

Good day, eh!

Today I decided to take the trail that runs along the river through town for my bike ride. I debated whether or not it was a good idea as the river runs in the low places. This means that on the way home, I'm gonna have a big uphill climb at the end of the ride. I did take the side streets so as to avoid the pressure of traffic, but the climb itself was no problem!

I had a call last night from a friend whose husband has received a clean bill of health after treatment for lung cancer, only to find that it has spread to his spine and is untreatable. I'm going to find some creative ways to support and love them through this process and I spent some energy thinking about them today.

I kept busy with odd jobs and the garden and ended the day with supper and a visit with my Mia. I never see enough of her and it was wonderful to visit. We checked out a few of my new games too; anyone tried kanoodle??

Thanks for days filled with appreciation. Thanks for good friends. Thanks for exercise and a healthy attitude.

Love, elly

The little things

Often, it's not the big disasters that set me on my ass, as there are things that need to get done. Likewise, it's not the huge things that become my favourite memories, but the small everyday things.

Yesterday when I was struggling to find a reason for my existence, I met 3 kids at the end of the street, where I often take my dogs; a 12 or 13 year old with 2 much younger siblings. The pleasure they got from throwing Lucy's ball for her was obvious and Lucy obliged by chasing it as often as they threw it, even though she was tired. It made me happy to be able to share that joy with them.

Today I got a card from my tenants; just a reminder that Kelly found me the Best Tenants Ever!!

I got an emergency (not really) call to pick up Daniel and Sam from their camps today. When they got here, they asked to play the new board games, not on my tablet!

I rode my bike out to the Guelph lake this morning. A good portion of that trail is through the bush; need I say more??

I have been a little more selective with the reading material I've bought lately. It's been a good decision and I would recommend everything on this list if you're looking; a wide variety and all amazing!
The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt,
The Martian, Andy Weir
All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr
The Nightingale, Kristin Hannah
A House in the Sky, Amanda Lindhout
The Secret Daughter, Kelly Rimmer
I'll Give You the Sun, Jandy Nelson
Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson

Thanks for my life!

Love, elly

I don't wanna talk about it!

I will, but I don't wanna so it will be short.

I struggled yesterday, didn't blog. I woke up around 6 this morning and 45 minutes later I knew I was in trouble. It came in like a wave of darkness that actually scared me. I got up, went to the pool, went for a ride, came home and did several baking experiments in prep for a visit with John, Linda, Jessie and Sam. I kept busy all day and focused on the visit, which was wonderful and exactly what I needed.

What a lovely gift from Jessie!

I ate the rest of the ice cream after they left, but at least I made Sammie take home the nut and seed brittle!

Love, elly

Leisure

I normally don't do well with leisure time, but I think there was enough activity between that I actually enjoyed the day.

The pool wasn't open till 9 because of the holiday, so I cleaned the patio and everything on it before I went. Then when I got back I went for a bike ride.

I don't like that the water bottle has to be on the handlebar, but they tell me it would interfere with stepping through if it was where it normally is. I call bullshit, but will probably need to rig it up myself. I already moved it from the outside to the inside, so I could hook on my basket for Saturday markets.

It also doubles as a dog carrier in a pinch, but I couldn't manage a pic of that! I rode them to the park to throw some balls for Lucy before supper.

As well as this sewing project, which I ripped apart so often I wondered if the fabric would hold, I repaired a pair of Jason's cargo shorts, which was probably a waste of time, because the material is such shite that they will probably just rip again. Regardless, it was a labour of love and, as such, was rewarding.

I weighed in this morning at 205 pounds, same as last week, which was no surprise. I feel back on track, with 5 more to my goal. I'm still avoiding the last of the paperwork, but today was too good to spoil!

Thanks for love in all shapes and sizes. Thanks for my doggies. Thanks for my covered patio. Thanks for good reading.

Love, elly

Emotional

It's been an emotional few days. I don't know why there are days like that for no real reason. I've been feeling heartbroken, even though I've accepted the reality. I think maybe it's letting go of the dream of what I wanted for the relationship. There's been a bit of emotional eating, so I imagine the scale will reflect that, but I'm still impressed that I'm problem solving and using good strategies once I realize what's going on.

Speaking of good strategies, I love, love, love my bike. I had forgotten how much I love to ride. It's a bit more work for my legs, because I sit so upright, but so awesome! I've been out on it every day. Did I mention that lifetime services are included in the price? Well worth it!

Both Jason's and Tim's families are away this week, so it's a good thing that Kelly and Danny are back home. They joined Paula and me at the pool this morning, which is one of my favourite Sunday morning activities. Nana Cobb returns to Winnipeg in the morning too, so it was nice to share part of the day with her. She's such a wonderful addition to our family and now that Auntie Danna and Uncle Chris have moved to Australia, she's far away from all her kids and grandkids. It's a good reminder for me to count my blessings!

Thanks for an organized shed. Thanks for brothers and sisters who are my best friends and staunchest supporters. Thanks for slightly cooler weather. Thanks for living close to the people who love me most.

Love and gratitude, elly