confession

I know that being honest with myself is a big part of succeeding on this journey. Therefore, I am going to admit that over the last few weeks, I have hoarded some shakes to use after the program is over. I never went without shakes, but when I was having soup or veggies, I only had a half serving with my supper. So I would have 3.5 shakes a day instead of four. I realized that hiding this information is the biggest mistake I could make, as that is continuing my addictive behaviour. Several times family actually asked me if I had a shake and I lied. So no more. I am having 4 shakes every day and if I make other bad decisions or choices I am admitting them to you. I really intend to succeed! Tonight at supper, I didn't take my Calcium and vitamin D with supper, but only my anti-depressant. So far, I feel good and if this continues, I will skip taking it until I am on some solid food again. While I think it is more likely the effect of the anti-depressant that is causing my nausea, if this even helps a little, it is worth doing until next week. I know that I need the calcium to help combat my osteopenia, but I don't think one week will hurt. I am also having some hot water at least twice a day to see if that helps. Good productive day today and instead of walking tonight, I'm gonna do some research on a few of the food tracking programs they have suggested and then go to bed early, as I'm pretty tired. I hope it's OK with him to do this as I haven't asked, but I want to give a special public "thank you" from the bottom of my heart to my nephew, J.R., who is one of my heros and a huge role model as I travel this road to sobriety. In kindness, elly "Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession." Mahatma Gandhi and this is silly, but it made me laugh... "I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again. When you go to confession and entrust your sins to the safe-keeping of the priest, do you ever come back for them?" Jean Baudrillard