crash, no burn!

Ok, so yesterday I took completely off, didn't go to the y, had no kids visit or sleep over, and took care of some errands that I've put off. I had to buy a new water softener as mine is leaking, I had to order new glasses, as mine are broken, I had blood work done, did a little shopping etc. I had clinic which was great and we talked about maintenance, and I even said I was not having trouble after supper any more. I watched a bad movie in the afternoon, as I was determined to relax! I knew at supper that something was off. I had eaten fine but wanted more. I had my evening snack right after supper. I went to use my laptop, which is just back from repair, to discover it's dead. Totally and completely.  Back to the shop next week. Eventually I realized that I really wanted to eat. I thought about all the things we had talked about in class and went to the fridge for a turkey bite (like pepperoni), then went back for a second one, and the third time I went back I brought the bag. I was trying to talk to myself the whole time, to no avail. I eventually remembered I should call someone, so called Cory while I still had 3 left. I returned them to the fridge, knowing it was a mistake not to go to the y when it was such a crappy day so I didn't walk. I also think it was a bit boring with no kids, and Jeff and Terry postponed the softener install because of the weather.

So 400 calories later I had it sorted. Not bad considering a year ago it could just as easily have been 4000. And with no guilt about needing to relearn things that I've spent almost 60 years learning, I'm right back on track.

I had a wonderful day with Adrian and Aubrey, after the y, and we walked this afternoon even though it was freaking cold! The sunshine's only competition was the grins on the boys faces.

They have been encouraging us to use our intuition more when it comes to food and I will very slowly try to integrate that. As a start, today I didn't check any of my calories until end of day...so far so good!

In gratitude for loving support of every kinds, elly

"Developing the muscles of the soul demands no competitive spirit, no killer instinct, although it may erect pain barriers the spiritual athlete must crash through."  Germaine Greer

"Quit thinking that you must halt before the inner barrier of negativity.  You need not. You can crash through.  Wherever we see a negative state, that is where we can destroy it."  Vernon Howard