addiction

I'm no expert, but I have my share of first hand experience. I think addiction is the single most prolific and hazardous challenge of our modern day lives. We all try to escape our perceived pain and create such horrible real pain. My heart goes out to all addicts, especially those who don't even know that they are. I know a lot of things that are not helpful to addicts and it makes me think that the only way to really support and help an addict is honesty without shame. There is altogether too much guilt already circulating through us. Please join with me in sending heartfelt compassion and loving support into the universe against this destructive way of seeing our lives.

It has been the most freeing event of my life to acknowledge, accept and even celebrate this knowledge. It makes it possible to say no to things that previously would have been a serious temptation for me and enables me to stay really clear about why I am making the choices I'm making. I want my life to be mine, for me and the things that are important to me. I don't need anyone else to have the same priorities and don't need anyone to understand why they matter to me, but just want to really be me before I'm dead.

Today I wore a men's flannel shirt that's long and warm and cozy and red. There was a time when it fit me better but I was too embarrassed to wear it. Now I don't care. Not only that, but my granddaughters saw the pictures I posted a few days ago and realized that I have lost a lot of weight, probably close to their combined weight. Jason took a picture of Grace and me in my shirt, and even with both of us in it, it fit over my bum!

I spent some time today preparing my food for the week and tried a few different things. It's still very much a learning experience as I piece together things that meet my nutritional needs, are simple and relatively hassle free. I'm getting there, slowly but surely and that feels right to me, for me.

Thank you all for accepting me the way I am, in gratitude, elly

"She goes from one addiction to another. All are ways for her to not feel her feelings."  Ellen Burstyn

"It is hard to understand addiction unless you have experienced it."  Ken Hensley

And just a final thought about this last quote, I don't think there is anyone who hasn't experienced it, they just haven't accepted or realized that it is