When I'm depressed I tend to isolate and yet I am so much better when I'm with people. I can spend all day trying to convince myself to call someone and if I finally manage it they are usually no longer available. Or I start to feel bad because I can't think of a reason for them to want to see me because I never call them.
I also had the munchies all day today... connected you think? I think so.
When I was aware that it was bad I went downstairs and did some sewing for the girls. They had asked me to make some sheets and blankets for a doll bed for their cousin. I was also making some cushion covers. The fact that I was busy and thinking about the girls meant that I no longer had the munchies, so more evidence that it's connected.
I am so grateful that K brought the boys over and we went to soft, old M's house for a wonderful supper and a hot tub. The Right Reverend High Mother Superior joined us with all five of her grand babies, and some wonderful chaos ensued. It reminded me a lot of when our kids were all younger and we would spend time together...
So now I'm home with both boys asleep beside me, writing my story. We had 3 of the five little monkey stories before they crashed and we have 2 more for the morning.
I'm not even gonna say what I ate today, but only that I didn't totally lose it. I obviously need to use my lamp every morning during the darker times, especially since I do not want to increase my antidepressant again. I really feel better physically when I'm just on the single dose, at least I can get out of bed in the morning.
I need to say that the greatest blessing of my life, which I don't deserve in any way shape or form, is my family. They accept my shortcomings and love me anyway. They call and text and email and comment, even when I can't or don't. Trust me when I say that I appreciate the unconditional love and support. It helps me cry and make it to another day.
Thanks to mom and dad for starting the ball rolling, elly
By the way, I did blog last night but didn't realize till this morning that I hadn't published. Sorry you get two today instead!
"Family is not an important thing. It is everything." Michael J Fox
"Family is the most important thing in the whole world." Princess Diana
"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." Desmond Tutu
You can sew!!?? Who would have thought. Gandhi was into that. Or at least spinning yarn, or weaving, or something?
ReplyDeleteWhile I undertand and empathize with the depression challenges I've decided not to worry about you. After all, you never called!
And you paint as well? Wow!
And I've made the following point before but I learned from Odd John that with an idiot you sometimes have to repeat yourself. Here it is.
Family is only genetic. You don't deserve them or not deserve them, you just get em or don't! If you happen to have family who have become friends as well, they are exactly what you deserve!! Don't forget again!!
Love
Peter
Please don't hesitate to call me anytime as well Elly.
ReplyDeleteLove happy odd john