There is nothing quite as magical for me as babies. I think my great nephew, Luca, must have saved up all his giggles just for our first meeting today. Everyone in the room was enjoying it. Then when he fell asleep in my arms, the gift was complete. At the same time, great niece Lucy was showing off her clapping, waving, and moving all over the place. After her rocky start it's a small miracle that she's so strong, smart, and super sweet. Of course, Madi, Lulu, Jackson, and Madi were all there too, but much too busy with each other to bother with grown ups. I was blessed with a wonderful visit with great niece Avery last week too!
Last night I got to see all of my own gang except Em, so that was great fun too. Penelope never wants to be outdone by her brothers, so she was running from house to house, "tick or teet"ing, and when she finally burned out, she was standing at someone's door, crying her heart out, but still holding her bag open for candy! She's just turned 2 and she was holding her pillowcase off the ground the whole time she ran around. This girl is going places!
My last thoughts are for Pete. I understand that you're proud of dad as a man, for never yelling at his wife. I think you might have missed my point though. I think mom just always agreed with him. But in later years I came to believe that if she'd been given any choice, she would have done many things differently. I'm not sure that dad knew how to make things less difficult for her. I think he believed that it was his duty to make all decisions, and that she believed that it was her duty to go along with his decisions. I can't even imagine a life where I didn't even have a choice about how many children I had. I'll reiterate that the best things she modelled for me were commitment and dedication (or persistence, I forgot what my original iteration was!) Plus I am really enjoying the conversation!
Much love, elly
I enjoy hearing about your great nieces and nephews, and your grandkids too. I'm really learning lots about your family via this conversation you and Pete are having.
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Love Roo
I am learning about my family and enjoying the conversation too. I am a bit skeptical that Mom just always went along with Dad's decisions though. I can remember at least a couple of occasions when Dad suggested to me that he was doing something against his judgement because Mom convinced him to. Funny enough, these were decisions about us kids. My theory is that they grew as parents and obviously as people, as I got to know them. I also wonder if Dad felt as much religious pressure as Mom to keep pumping out kids?
ReplyDeleteI really do appreciate the perspective that is different than mine.
Love John
Remarkable!
ReplyDeleteThey say that perception is truth to that perceiver, but sometimes I'm still surprised when someone sees a situation quite a bit different than I do. And since perception is often influenced by point of view, or point in time, I can understand why I seen may parents in a different light than siblings that are several years younger. I find it absolutely fascinating however, that Elly and I who are really of an age seen some significant differences in our parents relationship. For example, I think the religion thing as it relates to 'pumping out kids" was a total non issue. I think it was so ingrained in both of them, as to never even become a point of discussion. I can't even conceive either one of them discussing the possibility of using birth control.
And as to decision making, I certainly believe that Dad(with Moms blessing) made most of the decisions regarding cows. and manure spreaders, but I totally disagree that she just went along with him on the stuff that was important to her, namely her kids. I strongly believe that even against his better judgement, he deferred to her most of the time. I am certain in my case at least. There can be no doubt that I would have been thrown out of the house at least 2 years earlier, were it up to Dad alone.
And finally, my perception of how they dealt with their differences, was not that they didn't have any, but rather that they went to great lengths to never have them in front of their kids. I can still picture moments when they seemed on the edge of an open disagreement, but suddenly without any overt signals from either one, they just got quiet. Again, it was only my perception, but the message I read from both of them at these times was "we'll talk about it later".
Fascinating! And I suppose we'll never really know. Then again....we could ask Cory. :)
Love
Peter
Funny thing is, and maybe it's just that I don't want my bubble burst, but while I think that dad was at best an average parent to me, I still to this day strive to be the exceptional husband I believe he was.
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Peter