Some days I just can't talk about it

Fortunately, this isn't one of those days. I've tried several times to post but either the stuff felt too hard, or I was too tired. Several days I sat down and opened the new post, only to sit and do nothing. I've had to acknowledge that it's what it is right now.

It's been a tough few weeks, with no energy or ambition. I know that's partly the result of the medication and partly because I've gained so much weight that I'm uncomfortable and it's hard to move. I hate admitting that I need it (drugs) for the time being, but I also know it won't be forever. I expect there will be some more tough times before I come out the other end, so for now, I'm trying to be patient and gentle with myself.

I've been a little busy lately doing laundry, as I try to figure out what's going on with Lucy. I'm starting to think that she might be getting dementia. She has always been well trained, unlike Phyllis, who I had to work with. Lately someone has been peeing in the house. Last week I actually caught Lucy when she peed on her own bed right in front of me. Dogs don't do that. Twice in the past few weeks she's peed on my bed, right through everything. This morning when I let her out, she did her usual inspection of the yard and barked at the neighbourhood. When she was ready to come in I told her to go pee and she had a huge one. I think she's been forgetting to go while she's out. I've also had to tell her several times to come and eat and that is also totally out of character for her. I'm hoping that I'm able to manage her behaviour enough that I don't need to put her down. It sounds like a little thing but I know I won't be able to deal with constant peeing. I keep thinking that I might be on the receiving end of that before long. I can just hear the kids now...Sorry mom, but we just can't deal with you peeing all over the house any more!!

It's almost another week before I see Talaria again, as she is away this month. Then I see her 3 times in Dec. I'm really hoping to get at some of the nitty gritty during that time, and look forward to a bit of a fresh start in the new year.

In the meantime, kids continue to have birthdays, and I'm grateful for any time I get to spend with them. Today was swimming with the 3 girls and Jason and supper and a movie with Kelly's crew. I also got some bills paid, which has been a challenge, and did a little Christmas shopping. It's enough.

Love and kind thoughts to all of you, and a special "of course!" to Gail's question.
elly