clarity

An angry young man tore the rear wiper off my van today at work. The same angry young man who was kicking my bike. He wasn't mad at me today, but my van was the closest. I feel pretty violated, but I'm feeling pretty clear too about my intention for dealing with it. I spoke to the officer, who asked if I wanted him charged. The social worker was there at the time too, so I asked both of them their opinion about the benefits of doing so and they were both of the opinion that it would be useful for him and potentially harmful not to hold him accountable. As I had only recently been thinking about the possibility of police intervention after the bike incident, the rationale was already pretty clear in my mind, so I said I wanted to go ahead. I completed a victim impact statement, including that I think he has lots of good qualities, and that while I want some restitution, if financial payback would be a hardship, I would be happy with him doing some washing/ cleaning of the van, or some community service to help others. My hope is that it would help him to take responsibility for his choices.

I almost second guessed myself late this afternoon when the social worker came to me, said she had discussed it with the principal, and she decided it would be better to do a restorative justice circle, where we all talk about how we feel about the incident, but the justice system isn't involved. I really questioned my motives and felt unsettled about it. Once I had a bit of time to think it over, I'm clear about my motives being honourable and my direction clear. I'm angry that she discussed this with the principal without asking me first and that she was reluctant to hear my objections. She wants everything to get pretty by playing "nice", and I don't think that's always the answer. I want to be respectful, but I also want respect. I feel ok about it and hope it doesn't cost too much to repair.

I had a short but lovely snuggle with Nella P, and had Cory over for supper and a visit. Jeff and his buddy came over with the sewer camera and unfortunately, the problem is not with the city, but 5 ft in from the bathroom. We may be able to clear it with a heavier snake, but we need to contact Ontario one call, to get clearance first, just in case there's a gas line caught somewhere nearby. Oh well...

Did I mention how fantastic the window in my kitchen is? It's simply superb! I love my down house.

I am also getting more clarity about my eating. Tracking has been a huge help, even when I went over my goals by more than 1000 calories. I was being pretty careful because I was recording and I still went over that much! Today was much better, only over 100 calories and that included a treat this evening. I'm good with that and anticipate that I will stay on track better if I continue to record; pretty good trade off!

Time for resting now!

"I continue to be drawn to clarity and simplicity. 'Less is more' remains my mantra." Stephanie Rolland

"Revenge only engenders violence, not clarity and true peace. I think liberation must come from within." Sandra Cisneros

Love, elly