Yesterday morning I did really well...I spent it with Daniel and Sam. When I got home I totally crashed and was very agitated and anxious for the rest of the day. I did not even attempt to login to the CRA site or walk the dogs, which was on my agenda for the day.
Today I woke up feeling pretty much the same, but eventually got up to take the dogs for a walk. It was still humid but much cooler than it has been, which makes it a little easier for Lucy to enjoy a good run. While I was out I figured I should take advantage of the rain we had and the cooler temperatures to do some gardening, which would also keep me active longer. I spent the rest of the morning digging and pulling weeds.
The rest of the day was not as bad as yesterday, and I completed my CRA task from yesterday, as well as some laundry, as well as this post. I also ate pizza for 3 meals in a row: supper last night and both breakfast and lunch today. It's hard to not believe that I'm just totally pathetic, but I'm continuing to remind myself to be compassionate.
I deserve to be cared for in a healthy loving way.
Love, elly
You are so real Elly. You are not alone or will ever be alone! I believe by sharing your insides to the outside it can only get better. I am loving you more and more every day if that's even possible.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being you!
Love you more
Roo
There's something about your relationship with your grandchildren that warrants further investigation. I know you suggested that it was mostly about physical contact, and while I certainly agree that that can be most helpful, I also think there's more to it. If you always feel good when you are with them, then there must be a secret in there somewhere. I would want to be exploring that, and perhaps even do some real research around it. What changes in your thought patterns when the kids are near? Are you confident, in control, hopeful? Just thinking.
ReplyDeleteLove
Pete