Grandkids

I'm pretty sure that I didn't do a very good job of describing how and why my grandkids have such a positive impact on me, so I'm going to try again.

As adults we all learn to adapt our behaviour to our circumstances and the company we're in. We decide how much to share, what we can ask, and what tone the conversation will have. Certainly some of the kids are old enough that they have picked up bits and pieces of this learned behaviour. However, at heart they are still mostly not influenced by others. They don't have a filter on what they say, and ask and tell whatever they want. They are generally much more genuine and grounded than most adults. I think it's this quality that makes it easier to be around them. If they're upset about something, they're gonna cry or yell, or both. If they snuggle, it's because they want to cuddle. If they're having fun, they'll laugh right from their boots. It's just easy to be with them, and I never have to guess what's going on with them. They never judge me, even if I'm tired, set rules, or get a bit grumpy. They so obviously love me and are so down to earth that I don't ever imagine that they'd be better off without me. It's the purest form of love that exists.

Yesterday I met with Talaria again and we started the initial stage of EMDR, being setting up the protection process. We reviewed and assessed all the different ways people disassociate from their bodies, what that looks like for me, and some strategies. I ranged from 0 % to 90 %. She also reviewed how she measures how long to continue each session and what it will look like. My friend Lee told me to watch out to make sure I wouldn't go too fast and to make sure of my protection. I think even she would approve.

I had a great day with Daniel, even though I had a brutal headache for most of the afternoon. In the morning, all the kids are coming swimming at the Y. Yeah!

I am strong and healthy.
Love, elly