Thanks

I'm grateful for so many things on a daily basis, but especially for family this weekend. I'm also grateful that I had the weekend to save me from myself.
On Friday I was so distressed that I asked for help to resolve the bullying situation at work, but I had no clear plan about what that would look like. Then Friday night and Saturday I started to panic about her reaction. She's such an arrogant woman and is certainly not going to take kindly to a complaint. I felt like a terrified kid, thinking about reporting abuse, worried that it would get worse if I said anything.
As a way to get more clear about what I wanted and what might be realistic to expect, I started writing about what happened and how I felt. I wrote it in a note to her, and rewrote it over and over, eliminating anything I couldn't prove or didn't matter.
Then I made a few decisions; first I took responsibility for extending my apology to the rest of the staff who probably felt caught in the middle. I will post that tomorrow. Second I resigned as chief negotiator of the bargaining unit and asked our provincial negotiator to step in. Third I finished a draft letter to her, which I'm taking to the meeting tomorrow. If they don't have a problem with it, I'll pass it on.
I learned so much, mainly that I won't change her, but I can protect and stand up for myself...I can change. I also value and appreciate the contributions I have made to the bargaining unit. As long as I believe, no one can take that away from me. My union career hasn't ended like I expected it would, like so many other things in life. And that's OK!

Love, elly