A promise is a promise!

I've started early, so I can get a decent comment made before I crash.

There have been a number of misunderstandings since I started this process of asking for help to have a respectful workplace, particularly between the principal, Nicole, and the HR woman, Paula. While I've been frustrated by the delays this has caused, I appreciate that it's also allowed me the time to get more clarity about what I want.

Friday afternoon I met at the board office with the wellness manager, Jo, and the HR sidekick, Mary. I reviewed my notes with them, including some past history of the times I have tried to resolve issues with this woman. After some questions, Mary reviewed the options of meeting with the bully(I think it's confusing to say her and I don't want to use her name), using the principal, a mediator or Mary to facilitate, or to file a formal complaint, so they can interview witnesses and discipline her if they find evidence of harassment. I don't like any of these options.

I told them that if I could have my preference, I would like to have her supervisor, who is Dr Brenda Kenyon and the mental health lead for the board, do a coaching/ counseling session with the bully. I respect her and so does the bully. I'm hoping that if she could get the message across to her, without any threat of discipline, her ego may remain intact and we might have the best chance of actually developing a better relationship. I think being investigated and/or disciplined would be so embarrassing to the bully that it has the potential to do more harm than good. I also think that it would be very difficult and polarizing to a small staff, who don't want or need to get caught in the middle of this crap.

They have agreed in principle to do exactly that. I would need to meet with Brenda first, and I'm fine with that. They assured me that they would not allow the delays that have already happened to continue. They told me they're sorry for what I've been through and they want to help make it better. I believe them. I also was able to clarify that if this doesn't work and I go ahead with a formal complaint, I want to move schools.

One question that Mary asked me while I was there was did I feel like the bully's apology was sincere. I do believe it was, even though she was also trying to excuse or minimize responsibility by making the comment about being on the spectrum. I think she was embarrassed because she knew how awful she'd been. It helped me to realize that.

One way or another, I know I'm coming to the end of it. I'll be glad when it's over. I'm really trying to get a grip on my eating without waiting for it to be resolved. The reality is that it may never be completely resolved and I need to learn to respect myself around food as much as by standing up for myself.

Happy birthday to my very good friend and sister, Cory, on Friday. Happy fifth birthday today to Adrian, one of my most precious gifts! I'm crazy about you!

Love, elly