Got to the pool and walked the dogs. Ate better for most of the day. I'm just not quite making it.
Pete, usually I still can find the compassion for her, but other times I'm triggered by hearing her bullying others and I know there's still so much potential for her to continue. There's compassion and then there's stupid and as long as I haven't found a way to keep safe around her, I get anxious. The anxiety starts the negative thoughts, which go around and around in my head and I hate it. I hate that I can't keep focused on positive things. I'm pretty sure I'm still not depressed, but I find it hard to be on guard all the time, because I eventually realize I'm feeling angry again. I'm angry that I'm giving her so much power over me, and I still get out from under it, I just can't seem to stay out.
I had a wonderful supper with Jay's 3 girls and love them to bits!
Love, elly
Ok, so I'm back to violence again! Just kidding...
ReplyDeleteIf you are concerned about her mistreating others should you perhaps proceed with a formal complaint? I'm not saying you have a responsibility to do so, but I would be willing to bet that there are a number of your co-workers that look to you for leadership. Although filing a complaint could be stressful as well, you may try to look at it as putting the problem in some one else's hands. I know this will seem like a stretch but it's kinda like "let go and let god". God in this case being the school board.
Love
Peter