depression

Depression often stalks me a little this time of year. Depression, the sneaky, slimy, bastard that skulks about waiting for something, anything, to throw me off course enough to get a grip. Well fuck you, you sniveling ratface prick!! I do not concede. I know you're there, I see you, feel you, and yes, I'm eating to keep you at bay. Trust me, I'm gonna keep on keeping on until I win.

I called the wellness coordinator at the board office, who is very helpful and supportive. I had something happen at work today that triggered me, and when I called her about it, she shared my concerns, which made me feel a whole lot better. She will address it at her end and I don't care how it works out, now that I've had my say about it and I know she heard me.

I am continuing to work at improving my sleep hygiene, using my happy lamp, getting in the pool, ride,ing,  walking the dogs and eating as healthy as possible every day. I'm satisfied with that. If I still don't feel any more in charge of it in another 2 weeks, I'm going back to the Dr to talk about other options. I would rather not increase my antidepressant again, but will if I need to.

I had a wonderful impromptu visit with Terry and Karen, and as usual, having a visit with real people really is good for me and makes me happy to be alive.

Thanks to Tim, Mary, and Pete for the words of encouragement; it all helps.

"Scientists have demonstrated that dramatic, positive changes can occur in our lives as a direct result of facing an extreme challenge - whether it's coping with a serious illness, daring to quit smoking, or dealing with depression. Researchers call this 'post-traumatic growth.'" Jane McGonigal

Love, elly