Sybil?

I'm still excited about my session this afternoon, but when I thought about describing it, I immediately thought, they'll think I'm nuts! Which, of course, I am, but you already knew that.

Initially I was disappointed not to be getting to the reprogramming yet. However, my friend Lee, who does this work, assures me that the more prework that's done, the safer people feel, and the more effective in the long run.

Apparently, the brain stores memory related to trauma in a different way than regular memories. With a regular memory, if you get new information, you can change your perception of what happened, thereby changing how you react or respond to it. However, with trauma memories, the brain isolates them, so they are not available to new knowledge or learning. As well, every time that memory is triggered, the brain increases it's stone walls around that memory, to the point that you may eventually not be able to function in a world where we must change and adapt on a daily basis to thrive.

So today we started a dissociation table. I imagined a safe room with a table where I sat and I invited as many parts of me as I felt comfortable with, to sit at the table. As far as I can remember, I brought angry, sad, scared (terrified), smart, scared of smart, generous, joyful, and possibly one more, who I can't remember. No Pete, it wasn't forgetful! Then we started looking at each part, identifying an age associated with it, and looking at jobs, conflicts and alliances between each part, etc. It was very informative, interesting, and even entertaining at times, as I imagined the interactions between them. I'm so grateful for the 20 plus years I've already spent in counseling, because I'm not sure I'd feel this comfortable otherwise. Having said that, it's not a party.

I'm hopeful.
Love, elly