I hope this is an aberration and not a side effect of the medication. I was wide awake for all but 3 hours last night. It could also be that the Dr suggested that I stop using the melatonin until after I see how well the new drug will work and not to confuse the issue. I'm pretty tired tonight so I'm hoping I'll sleep.
I helped Kelly and Danny install their basement floor today and just loved the comraderie. The floor looks pretty darn good too!
I've been thinking about something and getting my head wrapped around it...we had a community alcohol and drug worker in to the gym class to do a presentation on the continuum of addiction. She said that it's possible to work at harm reduction in any of the early or mid stage, but that the only remedy for total addiction is abstinence. I know they really encouraged us in the program to add controlled portions of treats. I remember being really panicky about it. I wonder how I'd be doing if I had just trusted my instincts. Regardless, I think it's a worthwhile objective: to get back to treating myself like the true addict I believe I am. That's my goal for this week.
Love, elly
Elly, I'm sorry to have been absent lately. My mind is also trying to grapple with things and I simply hade to retreat. I love your goal and agree whole-heartedly. If you have to think about going out to buy stuff rather than reaching for it in a cupboard, on a shelf or in the freezer, it just seems logical that you might be able to stop yourself. Perhaps limited treats later on ... We, unfortunately, are in the easy availability stage. Hang tough and be strong!
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Gail