As in I feel more balanced. I have initiated visits with all the kids! I don't care if I don't get as much work done, because it was making me sad and I wasn't getting work done anyway! I also realized that I need to continue to work at keeping adult contact as well, as isolating is very bad for me. It feels like I'm back to being myself again, juggling work, play, exercise and food reasonably well.
These seemingly small decisions have enabled me to get painting and planning some next steps...that's good! Also on Saturday I biked downtown just to make sure I could do it in the fall to get to work; no problem!
I almost gave myself permission not to weigh myself today, cause I was afraid it would be very difficult. I realized that the difficult part is only when I'm out of control and haven't yet figured out why. I decided I have it figured out for this moment, so might as well face whatever it says! I weighed in at the Y this morning at 182.5 lbs, same as last week. It's all good.
"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton
"When you feel sad, it's okay. It's not the end of the world. Everyone has those days when you doubt yourself, and when you feel like everything you do sucks, but then there's those days when you feel like Superman. It's just the balance of the world." Mac Miller
Love, elly
I love that you continue to learn Elly. I believe any addiction is an ongoing process no matter what that may be. I am so proud of what you learn and that you share it with us so we can apply to ourselves and not feel so alone.
ReplyDeleteLOve you for who you are! Thanks for your honesty!
Love Joyful Old Roo
Being a bit obsessive myself, especially about getting my tasks done, makes your balance comments really resonate with me. I often waste days getting shit done, when I could have used them to ride my bicycle (just for fun), or play with my grand children. (just for fun) Thanks for the advice.
ReplyDeleteLove
Peter