Learning

I'm still doing lots of things that I'd prefer to do differently, but I'm also recognizing some things and figuring some things out.

Right now I move very quickly into criticism and self judgement. If I recognize it right away, I can get back out of it fairly quickly too.

I remember when I first started on this medication that I felt short of breath for the first several weeks, so I'm not surprised that has increased with the increased dosage. I also know that if I keep pushing through it, it will feel better after a while.

I've realized that when I feel most anxious, it physically feels like a have a large hollow cave in my gut. If I eat enough to make myself feel really stuffed, the anxiety feels much less. Understanding why it's particularly difficult not to overeat right now makes it easier not to be mean to myself about it. That, in turn, helps me eat better at least some of the time.

I finally got my bike out for my first ride, so my butts a little sore. However, my heart feels better! The ice cream we rode for was delicious, thanks to Tim, Jen, and the kids.

I think that's enough for today. Much love, elly