It's a little scary

...and a whole lot of mind blowing. I almost don't dare to say it but it's obviously true. I'm back and I don't know or care how I got back. It feels as natural as if I'd been eating this way my whole life. Of course, the terrifying scary part is that it could happen again at any time. So be it.

I liked Maureen and spoke easily with her. She reminded me that the events of the past two and a half years would have been challenging for someone not also struggling with PTSD. She also reminded me that the healthy strategies I use didn't all disappear, even though they lessened. She asked what it would take to get my bike out and I said that if I told her I'd have it out by this weekend, then I would. So I told her I would. And I will.

She also told me that the only person at their office doing EMDR is even busier than the first counselor I saw, because they both work with sexual abuse survivors. However, she gave me the name of someone else who's very good, who she's worked with in the past. I'm going to ask the board to pay for it and if they won't, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm worth it.

I feel like I'm home, I'm back. Thanks for waiting.
Love, elly ♥