I feel stressed and anxious today. I hate feeling like there's stuff still hanging over my head at work. I hate that they give me 30 minutes warning that they're coming to talk to me. The guy acknowledged that there is no formal complaint, but as superintendent, he has issues with my behaviour. He knows nothing about me and I don't really want to expose myself to him further. I don't want to spend my weekend preparing a response to him when he's put nothing in writing, but I declined to meet with him today and I guess he's still planning on coming on Monday. I'll be too angry to respond on the spot and still say everything I want respectfully. I think if he's making judgements about me, when he knows nothing about me other than that I swear, he doesn't deserve my respect. I feel like packing it in, but just like not renting my house, it's just not an option.
Needless to say I ate crap this afternoon.
Love, elly
I agree with Peter on one point. I hate that this may ruin your weekend. That and the whole rest of this situation is in your control. Only you can give this guy, or this situation any power over your enjoyment of the weekend. The more time you spend thinking of him and his motives, and your responses, is less time for important things that you want. It will probably not tilt the scale in the direction you would like either
ReplyDeleteSpend time thinking about the real reasons you continue to do this work and the satisfaction that brings you, instead of this shit that comes with it.
Im glad you got your constipation situation worked out, thats got to improve anybodys outlook.
love holij
I agree with Pete on one point (it's truly none of our business what people think of us), and holij point (spending time thinking about real reason you do the work you do)!
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that I have done exactly what's you done and made up stories to try and find some resolve. You and I both know it doesn't work. It's learning to stay in the moment that is the challenge If anyone can manage it, its you Elly. I will follow your lead.
I also like the idea of going to see Lady P. or any other grandchild for that fact to help stay in the moment.
I relate to you on so many levels Elly! Thanks for being you.
love you beyond, beyond
Roo