lazy

...and a little depressed. I spent the morning at Kelly's house with the 4 boys, after we had all been to market. I stopped by Wal-Mart after dropping the Crowe boys at home, to see if I could buy a cover for my new phone. No luck, it's too new! So I went home, had lunch and a long nap. Then I called Paula to see if she wanted to go to the mall with me to look there for a cover. I've had the phone for almost a week and we all know I'm gonna drop it sooner or later! Success at last and it wasn't even that painful, especially considering how much I hate going to the mall. Then I dropped her off at home, and had a short, but fun, visit with Mary, who's still recovering from being hit by a car on her way home on her bike. Back home where I broke my rule about not eating with electronics; I ate the whole bag of grapes! Yikes!!

...and a little scared. When I'm with people it's not too heavy on my mind, but when I'm alone at home and everything I try to do has to be thought out to see how to manage it without my right hand, it's downright discouraging. I know it's not going to be this bad forever, but I also know it's never going to get totally better. I've been frustrated so much over the last 20 years by the increase in pain and instability in my joints, that it's hard to not jump ahead to the next 20. Scary!

...and a bit of an idiot! Funny that the one thing I could have done without using my hand, that would have made me feel better, was walk. Tomorrow that's definitely on my agenda, even though it's fuckin' winter! I can also read without too much trouble, so I think I'll plan on some of that too!



Love, elly