an ending

Today was the last day of a process that started at clinic 6 months ago and has taken me from hopeless to pretty darn sure, most of the time. Not bad eh? It was hard to admit that it is over and we all had a hard time leaving afterwards. I really appreciate how much information and support is available there, and that I was fortunate enough to be able to be there.

I had a visit with B this morning, we both cried a little and decided on a plan to move forward.  I like it and hope we can manage it. As with all things, time will tell.

I had a good visit with my Dr who has agreed to decrease my antidepressant again, so that I will be on the lowest dose possible.  I will see her again before I try the total withdraw, as it can be pretty difficult with this drug.  My hope is to be ready by the start of summer, so that I have some time that I'm not working, in case it's too difficult to work.  I'm not sure how long this period of electric impulses lasts, but it doesn't sound pretty.

All in all, a pretty wonderful day for an ending, and I'm pretty sure that's because it's the beginning of the life I got back.

Love, elly

"A complete life may be one ending in so full an identification with the oneself that there is no self left to die." Bernard Berenson